I am sick that we will kill him. How many black men will have to die before we as a nation are satisfied?
Our country's fear of black men is rooted in a deep and unacknowledged realization that black men and women have much to be angry about and that, we as a nation, as a society, as humans, have failed them.
My experience in Palestine and Israel reflects this same reality. When Palestinians talk about true reconciliation and about a vision for a solution that honors true equality between Arab Palestinians and Israeli Jews, many Israelis scoff at the notion that our two peoples can live in harmony. Deep down this is fueled by a knowledge that Palestinians have suffered grievously under Israel apartheid policies. They can't trust the sentiments of reconciliation because they don't trust that Palestinian anger can be contained.
In the United States, we jail and execute the men we fear. In Israel it is the same.
Update: I am in anguish about Troy. When I wrote this diary minutes before the scheduled execution, I thought Troy was dying. I was shaking with rage at my inability to stop it. I have worked in Palestine with victims of torture in Israeli prison. I was on a legal team searching for answers when a Palestinian died in detention after less than 48 hours in custody. We tried desperately to find the detained man and we did not find him in time to save his life. Troy's case brings up all that guilt and trauma. This is too devastating to bear.